Disclaimer: This piece is just a pigment of the author’s imagination and does not resemble the author’s life in any way. This is just an attempt at versatility by the author. Also, resemblance to any person dead or alive is entirely unintentional and coincidental…
I guess in my previous life, I would have been a very rational, logical, pragmatic guy who thought and analyzed every word twice before he uttered it with a stiff upper lip.
I would have been the one who despised African tribes for worshipping the Lord of Mumbo-jumbo and detested the nonsensical blabber unleashed by any village simpleton. No wonder the ghost of mumbo jumbo haunts me ever so often in this life.
For those who haven’t met me, I am the one who has been credited with 7 star ratings for my nonsensical blabber, which can make the stinkiest (if I can make that word up) bull shit seem like 24 karat pure gold. Yes you read it right, the sheer magnitude of hogwash reflected in each letter of the previous sentence is proof enough of my credentials.(I guess) If you are still not convinced then roll up your sleeve to signify your bravery and read ahead…
The problem I guess is the absolute ability to talk thrash without a blink… You would never hear me replying or answering a simple question with a simple answer because 9/10 times I answer a question with another question, which makes the problem bad if not worse. Is it the misanthropist in me that never lets me convey my thoughts in a simple fashion? I don’t think so, because I am a great optimist and very happy to welcome diverse perceptions. Confusing the confused is easy but with my answers the confused would suffer severe dementia. Complicating the simplest of things in style is something I am very good at… I think the reason is loquaciousness and very often have I been found guilty of being too verbose.
Golden excerpts of how I went ballistic in my thought process while trying to express the simplest of thoughts….
While trying to say, “What you say is crap…”
“If we weigh the nonsensical value of what you just said on a balance…the sense and nonsense part of it would resemble the famous comedians, Laurel and Hardy (respectively) sitting on a see-saw.”
While trying to shut up a pessimist…
“If necessity is the mother of all inventions and curiosity is its father then you are the bastard child they gave birth to, coz you are clearly a creation gone wrong, one they would be ashamed of and the only reason for your existence in a sane world is to satisfy the law of averages which says that for every genius and/or an optimist born, a prick like you will balance the equation.”
While trying to say, ‘Not a very good idea’
“This scorching idea you suggest has the potential of breaking the myth based on conventional wisdom and is truly contrary to the popular belief, which is good. But on re-evaluating it with a rational view, it looks like in the long term there is a possibility it will make all expectations go through the roof, which can be very dangerous and the burden of expectations is clearly not the need of the hour.”
While trying to say, ‘Those are too many questions you are asking’
“I know millions saw the apple fall, and it was only Newton who asked why. But I am also sure you have heard about the curious cat and if you dare ask me another question I will make sure you meet the same fate as that cat."
